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The Ultimate Guide to Goal Setting (7 Questions to Ask Yourself First)

A few weeks ago, we published a blog called 4 Simple and Effective Ways to Stay on Track with Your New Years Goals. In that blog, we spoke a lot about how to accomplish goals once you have them, and also about how to course-correct if you feel like you’ve been de-railed.

This week, we will introduce a fresh way of looking at goals and provide more insight into the “before” part of goal setting. Specifically, how to make the distinction between goals and tasks. They might appear the same on the surface, yet they’re very different and our recommendation is that you approach them in different ways.

The key attribute that distinguishes a true goal from a task is the emotional connection we have with the result. With goals, we have a deeper emotional connection that inspires us toward achievement. 

As an example, and for the purpose of this blog, I’ll use a “goal” that just about everyone has had at one point or another – that elusive “lose 5 pounds” (or 10, or 20, or fill in the blank).

Here are the 7 questions to ask yourself to determine if what you’ve been calling a goal meets the criteria, and how to re-frame your thinking of it to create a deeper emotional connection.

1. Do you feel excited or inspired by this result?

So, the “goal” is to lose X amount of weight. Just talking about it can leave you feeling deflated, and it definitely doesn’t leave you feeling inspired or excited. It’s rarely the case that we think, “Oh Boy! I get to lose 10 pounds! Woohoo!”  

Keep in mind that you can replace “losing weight” with just about any goal you have set for yourself in the past. I use this as an example because it's so common and makes the point easily. 

When you look at this goal, it immediately conjures a need for determination, feeling the need to grind it out, or the need for extreme discipline. You might think things like, this time I’m really going to do it!; I only have to suffer for a few weeks and then I can get back to my “normal” way of doing things; I just have to focus, not get tempted to get off track.

Bottom line – if you don’t feel excited or inspired, it automatically won’t make it through the goal filter. 

2. What will this result do for you?

Why do you want to lose weight? There are lots of reasons that are inspiring behind losing weight. Let’s choose one as an example to show how we can get to meaningful goals. Let’s focus on improved appearance or better health. 

A few summers ago, one of my cousins confessed that this was the first summer in several years he could fit into a kayak so he could join the rest of the family on trips on the river. That enjoyment of being on the river, laughing with people he loves, and being able to participate in an activity that had been unavailable to him was far more meaningful as a goal than to simply “lose weight.” 

In this case, losing weight is a ‘task” that supports the more meaningful goal of better health and appearance. Are there other “tasks” that will support you in having a better appearance and health? What are some of those? Is it limited to losing weight?   

Each of these “tasks” is important to achieve the “goal” of better appearance or health. The change in focus from losing weight to something that's more inspiring makes the journey much more enjoyable. Having said that, let me remind you that one person’s task can be another person’s goal. The critical thing is to recognize your emotional connection.

3. How will you know that you have achieved or completed the goal? 

When I asked this question of some of the women attending my public speaking event a few years back, the answers were honest and revealing. One woman answered that she would be able to easily play with her children. Another spoke about being able to fit into a dress she loves and turning heads when she walked down the street. How will you measure your success? 

4. How will this goal impact your life and the lives of others?

When you set your sights on achieving something meaningful in your life, it causes change. That’s the whole point of the goal, really. There's a ripple effect throughout your life and into the lives of those around you. It can mean that some of your family and friends won’t like how these changes impact them.

For example, if you’ve been in the habit of going out for a few beers and wings after playing hockey with your friends, and now have chosen to drink club soda and eat salad in an effort to be healthier and improve your appearance, your friends may be dismayed by what they feel is lost camaraderie.

In contrast, you may find that you have a positive effect because of different choices and approaches on your road to achieving your goal. You might see that your friends and family are inspired by you and join you in your activities and new eating patterns. 

Whatever the impact, understand that your shifts and changes don’t happen in isolation. The more you can understand the implications for those around you, the more you will be able to avoid being sabotaged and gain the support needed. Are others more invested in having you fail or having you succeed?

5. What attitudes or circumstances are preventing you from currently achieving this result?

For the record, I’m not big on using circumstances as an excuse for not getting results. And I also understand that for all of us, there are times when our circumstances get the better of us. Recognizing where the circumstances are challenging is the first step in overcoming them.

Some of the circumstances are real, like having to get kids ready for school in the morning so there is little time to go to the gym. And some are the attitudes exemplified by self-talk. “This is really hard. I don’t think I can do it. No one in my family has done this before. I have so far to go to get to where I want to be.” The list goes on and on.

Neither of these is a reason to give up on the goal. Do your best to understand what you’re working with so you can come up with strategies to transform the situation into a success. 

6. What resources do you currently have available to you to achieve this result?

Now let’s look at what you are already doing that's supporting that goal of improved appearance or better health. Often when we commit to achieving something new or something that has eluded us in the past, we can forget where we’ve made some inroads or laid a foundation. It’s important to acknowledge what you’re already doing so you can build on it for the future. This could be that you've eliminated carbonated drinks from your diet, or you’ve gotten in the habit of getting up in the morning and working out. 

Accomplishing goals is not a solo act. It takes support to be successful. We all have far more support than we call upon when we take on something important. The bigger the goal, the more support needed, so look around and see what you already have in place. It could be a personal trainer, someone you know who’s well versed in fitness and nutrition, the list goes on.

7. What additional structures, habits, relationships, or resources are needed to accomplish this result?

When you look at the resources you currently have to support you in accomplishing your goal, you will automatically see the support that is missing and needed to have a positive outcome. It may be that you recognize that you do really well if you have your meals planned out for the week with groceries available. It may be developing the habit of working out in the morning before checking your emails. You may find that having a buddy who holds you accountable is required. Set yourself up to win by recognizing what’s missing to ensure success and put it in place. 

As I mentioned at the beginning of this blog, the example of a weight loss goal can easily be replaced by any other category of intentions or aspirations.

With so many of us failing to achieve what we’ve determined to be important; it makes sense to do everything possible to ensure success. Contemplating your answers to these 7 questions is the beginning. 

For more tips on goal setting and communication to achieve greater results in your life and career – be sure to follow us over on Instagram, LinkedIn and Facebook so you never miss a new tip, insight, or blog post!

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